I think a lot of us spend a good amount of our lives being
afraid. Afraid of what others might
think, afraid we can’t pay our bills, afraid of looking stupid, afraid to speak
up about the things that are really important to us. We are afraid of the dark, or afraid of the
light, or afraid of really being seen.
We are afraid of being unlovable.
We are afraid to be alone. We are
afraid to make the wrong choice.
I am sure in my
lifetime I have had millions of fears. I
don’t think I’m going out on a limb here to say I bet you have too. My fears lead to thoughts like: there’s never
enough, I don’t have support, I can’t do it, my dreams aren’t important, I’m
always alone. Even though I am unaware
of it most of the time, these thoughts replay over and over like a tiny tape in
the back of my mind. They are present
with every choice and decision I make.
These thoughts and fears have kept me in the status quo of life.
Recently I took a long hard look at some of my fears and the
things I’ve been thinking. I found scrawled
in one of my notebooks, “If I am afraid to succeed and I am afraid to fail,
then I am trapped.” It hit me like a ton
of bricks. I have been letting fear
guide my decisions and choices for way too long. I don’t want to be trapped. I am ready to move forward even if that means
confronting my fears head on.
For about a year I have been using hypnosis daily and love
it. It has completely changed my life,
so much so that I want to become a certified hypnotherapist. I had been looking into different schools and
then suddenly the hypnotist I work with decided to open her own school. It was a dream comes true! Her style is perfect for me, and something I’d
love to teach myself. I immediately knew
this is what I needed to do. And then
the fears set in.
For two months I went back and forth with myself over whether
I would enroll. The initial exhilaration
at this opportunity was slowly consumed by my robotic thoughts: there’s not enough
money to do it, you have to put what you want on the back burner and focus on
everyone else, it’s just not the time, and you’re never going to do this. I stated to believe my old thoughts. I even started to believe that being “stuck”
was where I was supposed to be, and then I had a conversation with a good
friend that turned it all around.
This friend called me out.
She said I have to stop using my fears as an excuse not to move forward
or put myself first, and I had to realize that sometimes I have to ask for help. I thought about what she said all night
long. By the next morning I knew she was
right. I just didn’t know what to do yet.
The Universe provides in surprising ways. That evening I received an email from the
school asking if there was anything they could do to help me get enrolled. Here is was.
The Universe was asking me to ask for help! And I did.
Through several emails we worked out a payment plan and made arrangement
so I could start in June. I was
thrilled! Then I was scared shitless.
I had decided that I was going to enroll for the
hypnotherapy course, and I was going to make it happen no matter what. One of the ways I was going to continue
asking the Universe for help was to create a GoFundMe. I had all kinds of fears about asking people
to help me pay for my tuition. “Who do
you think you are?” “People are going to
laugh at you.” “No one is going to want to help.” “This is a waste of time.”
BUT, I did it anyways. I looked at those
fears and said, “So what. So what if I
don’t raise the money. So what if people
laugh at me. I am doing this anyways.” And I did.
I no longer what to feel trapped in the place I am now. I want to do something I am extremely
passionate about. I want that for you
too! I am just going to keep putting one
foot in front of the other. One day at a
time, one step at a time. One moment at
a time. Until I get there.
If you want to help support my training you can donate
here. Prayers and good vibes are always
appreciated
as well.
Love and light to you all.
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