You Know or Why Don't I Ever Finish Anything?

Building on last weeks affirmation, "I am right where I need to be," this week we are affirming "I know what to do."

We may not like where we are, but we are there for a reason. We are where we need to be to make the next right choice. Affirm to yourself "I know what to do."

What is the next right choice to make? What do you need to accept to make the next right choice? What do you already know that you have been hiding from?

If I am completely honest with myself I already KNOW what to do in almost every situation. It can be difficult to stop and look at our behaviors and mindsets. It can be difficult to make the changes necessary to move forward. Painful even at times. Be we can do it. Sometimes we need to reach out to others for support. Sometimes we can handle it on our own. But nothing will change without acknowledging what we need to do. The next step is action.

I am such a procrastinator! I have turned it into an art form. I swear I can procrastinate procrastinating. I know what to do. I just don't do it! Writing, which I love, is the most obvious and easy example. If I can put off something I love how much more is that true for the hard things? I put off difficult discussions until it damaged relationships. I have refused to do things in a timely manner and that has hurt my education, work situations, financial security, and happiness. Procrastination is a bitch. One I've fed on many an occasion, but a bitch nonetheless.

I am right where I need to be. Look at it. Embrace it. Learn to love it. THEN you can change it. I see you procrastination! I have your number. I hide behind you because I am afraid. This is where I am. I am now ready to make a different choice.

I know what to do. Now that you can see it, whatever that it is, you can make a change. Make a different choice. Today I chose to look at my fear whatever it is and do the next right thing. I'm going to write. I'm going to tell someone I love them. I'm going to accept myself just as I am. Perfectly imperfect.

What do you know you need to do?

Weekly Affirmations and Being Right Where I Am

I have been feeling the urge to write again for awhile. It feels like a constant wrestling match inside of me. My heart wants to write, me head spouts all these reasons why I shouldn't. The doubts, the anxiety of being seen. I feel like I am entering a new season of life as I get closer to 40. I feel like I am braver and less fearful. My hearts desire to be vulnerable is starting to win out over my kvetching mind. I am embracing it. One day at a time.

I am also going to start sharing a new affirmation each week on Something for the Journeys Facebook page which you can find here. Each Sunday I will add a new affirmation. This weeks was:

I have to remind myself of this all the time. I always feel like I "should" be 15 steps ahead of where I am. I think many of us need to stop shoulding all over ourselves and embrace where we are. There is work to do right where we are. It is perfectly acceptable to want more. However I need to learn to love the step I am on. Maybe you do too. 

Feathers and Hammers

I can be an asshole. That may shock some of you, but it is very true.  I am careful with my words, except when I’m not. This week has definitely been an exercise in NOT. I seem to be arguing with everyone; insurance providers, coworkers, children, the people at the optical, and my beloved spouse. My poor spouse has taken the brunt of my rude and sassy behavior this week. Kudos for not locking me out of the house. Kudos for not divorcing me.

In the heat of the moment it is so easy to lose sight of the impact your words have. As the quote says, they can either be feathers or hammers.  I have been beating the Hades out of almost everyone I have come in contact with this week. 

I am owning up to my bad behavior. I vow to lay my hammer down. I have to start reminding myself that like Ali my words need to be light as a feather. I need to be a better steward of the tongue I have been given, the grace I have been shown, and the words I think and use.

How have your words been landing this week?

Turning 39

A few days ago I turned 39.  I love getting older.  I know a lot of people do not share my enthusiasm for aging, but I am unapologetically thrilled each and every year I turn just a bit older. As the old saying goes, it sure beats the alternative. I’m still here!

I had been thinking about this milestone for a while. I wanted to create a theme for my 39^th year. Something to focus on, and something that would when all was said and done make me a better person all the way around.  I pondered a bit, and then it came to me as I was driving.  Year 39: Giving, Growing, and Going!

There are all kinds of giving.  I am better at some than others. For year 39 I want to work on giving more of my time to the things that I am passionate about.  I want to work on being more thoughtful, and doing things for others just because.  I want to work on really connecting with people by giving more of myself in each and every interaction. I want to stretch and stretch some more!

I love growing as a person.  I have realized that there are several areas where I feel I am a little stunted, and I want to focus on growing those areas specifically this year. One of the things I am doing is committing myself to read more this year than I have in the last 5 years combined!  I have a list of books in all kinds of genres, and I am reading or listening to the audiobook of 3 to 4 books a week.  It has been a wonderful experience so far.  I am also working on setting more goals this year, and creating plans to meet those goals.  I’ll share more on that as time passes.

In year 39 I want to travel more.  Last year I flew for the first time, going to Los Angeles twice. I also took a fabulous road trip with my beloved to Florida for my brother’s wedding.  I really want to step outside my comfort zone and do things I have never done before.  I want to go new places and meet new people.  I want to really get going! 

I want year 39 to be the best build up to 40 I could ever imagine. Do you create themes for your years?  If so how do you choose them, and what are they?  How do you feel about aging?  I’d love to know.

Reset

I woke up late.  I barely made it out the door with kids in tow.  Definitely not on time.  I had to give news to people at work that started their day badly.  It all felt overwhelming and it seriously sucked.  I went to make a cup of tea.  At least that would be the one good thing this morning I thought.  I LOVE Yogi Tea.  It’s one of my favorite brands.  I also like that each bag has a tag on it with a saying to give you something to think about.  It wasn’t until I made it back to my desk that I remembered to look.  And there it was. “Peace of mind comes piece by piece.”

Ah! Of course.  Here I was rushing around, trying to tackle everything all at once.  Fix everything all at once.  I just needed to slow down, find a moment of peace, and reset my whole day.  And so I did.  I took my first real deep breath of the day at 8:22 am.  I meditated on the saying.  I realized in that moment I was letting my ego convince me that everything had to be perfect, run smoothly, and work out exactly as I wanted in order for the day to be a good one.  That’s total bull by the way.  NOTHING has to work out the way I want in order to have a good day.  We all have a choice.  To lean into love or lean into fear (ego).  Living from the ego is what makes us feel crazy, scared, defensive, and overwhelmed.  All of those feelings made an appearance in my life this morning.  But, I also know that I can make a different choice and choose to see everything through love.  I can reframe it!

Yes I woke up late, but my body needed the extra rest.  I am thankful that I now respect, listen to, and understand what my body needs from me.  I love my body and what to take care of it.  I barely made it out the door with the kids, but what a miracle those children are!  They teach me something every day.  This morning when I was grouchy and short they taught me grace by being loving and gentle with me when I probably didn’t deserve it in the moment.  I was late, but I arrived safely!  I may have had to deliver bad news, but I can also recognize that I am doing the best I can right now in this moment.  I can take a bit of the grace the children showed me, and give it to myself. 

“Peace of mind comes piece by piece.”  Everything doesn’t have to happen all at once.  Everything doesn’t have to happen the way we plan.  All we need to do is slow down and be here now.  This moment is all we have.  Revel in the peace.  Enjoy your life piece by piece.

Adding to Multiply Happiness and Connection

Happy Fat Tuesday!  This of course means the Christian world is about to embark on the Lenten season.  I’m not a Christian, but I do love this religious season for its call to sacrifice, devotion, and focus.  A few years ago a good Catholic friend and I were talking, and she had decided she wasn’t going to give something up for Lent, instead she was going to DO something every single day.  I loved the idea of adding something of value to my life as well, so we headed off to conquer the days, her reciting the Rosary every morning and me chanting every day.  It was a wonderful experience that brought me closer to G-d.

After giving it some thought I decided to invoke this practice again this Lenten season.  I tend to be someone who with good intentions gets in over her head with my commitments.  My mind swirled with all the things I wanted to add.  I started to feel excited and overwhelmed at the same time.  So pulling a little self-care I worked on in February out of my tool box, I narrowed it down to 2 things I am committing to do for the duration of Lent.

Morning Prayer Time.  Every morning I am going to carve out time to pray and do my Course in Miracles study.  I’ve been doing ACIM when I have time to squeeze it in during the day, but I believe it is time to commit a specific period to it, as well as reach out to my Higher Power in a meaningful way every day. 

Embrace gratitude as a daily practice.  I will do this by writing something I am grateful for on the wall of a wonderful Facebook page called The Gratitude Circle.  During the holidays this year I participated in a 40 Days of Gratitude challenge with them.  It was wonderful not just to see everyone else’s blessings, but to also realize the little things I had to be thankful for that I often forget.

It may not seem like a lot, but I know for myself if I added any more than this I would feel too much pressure for perfection.  I just want to connect consistently with my Higher Power in a meaningful way.

Are you giving up anything or adding anything for Lent?  I’d love to know!

Happy New Year...Or I'm Always Right On Time Even When I'm Late

It is a new year, and as always I am late to the party.  I am just fine with that.  I have realized that “new” take me a bit longer to process.  I know I spend too much time in my head and too little time in my heart.  That is what January was about.  The realization, the decisions on change, and then the actions of moving forward into a new way of being.  I also started the study of A Course in Miracles (ACIM) and have committed to completing it this year.  I am 70 plus days in and loving it.  I have already decided to do it again next year, and deepen my study.

February was all about self-care.  Thanks to Maureen Muldoon and her Spiritual Vixens I slowed down and really took a look at what I needed for myself so that I could be available not just for others, but to also move into my calling. I found Maureen through her YouTube page during my search for videos on ACIM.  She’s a great spiritual teacher and so down to earth.  I joined her Spiritual Vixens Facebook page for their February self-care challenge.  I not only enjoyed it I learned about myself as well.  At one point Maureen challenged me to write a blog post and post it to the group.  Here it is!  Better late than never.  Maureen’s website is here, and her Spiritual Vixens Facebook page is here.

February was also a month of getting back into pushing into myself with hypnosis.  Ever so slowly but surely I am completing my certification, but I had stagnated in my personal practice.  I needed some shaking up.  Here comes Grace Smith to the rescue again!  Grace started a free Weight Loss Challenge on her Facebook page. It was 21 days of hypnosis as well as discussion of a book for those who chose to participate in the reading.  There were LOTS of amazing results reported by the participants, but I can only speak for myself.  As of day 21 I had lost 10 lbs., was sleeping better, changed my eating patterns, and had begun exercising almost daily.  I have kept with ALL of those new habits and continued losing weight as well.  Grace is going to continue doing different challenges, and she even has a website you can sign up for to access different hypnosis. Her Facebook page is here, and her website is here.  Take a look! 

I am excited for March!  I have a few new things I am throwing into the mix.  I plan to write more, read more, and get more physical. I’ve only just begun!