Sarah's Legacy

Sarah

After last weeks action packed Torah portion this week is almost a bit of a letdown. Chayei Sarah starts with the death of Sarah, and Abraham's negotiation for a burial site for her. Abraham then realizes it's time to get a wife for his son Issac,  and sends his trusted servant back to his homeland and fathers home to find one. His servant encounters Rebekah, convinces her family to send her to him, and he brings her back to Isaac. They marry. Abraham dies. The end of our portion is a list of Abraham's descendants.

Chayei Sarah translates as "the life of Sarah." This at first seemed ridiculous to me as the first thing that happens is Sarah's death. There really is nothing about her actual life in this portion. The first line is "Sarah's lifetime- the span of Sarah's life- came to one hundred and seventy-two years old. Sarah died..." So my first question is why is it named "the life of Sarah" when it clearly isn't about that at all.

The Cave of Machpelah

Abraham spends a good amount of time negotiating for Sarah's burial place. It's interesting how what seems like a simple request to honor the dead becomes such an important place. The cave of Machpelah not only becomes Sarah's resting place. She is later joined by Abraham, Issac, Rebekah, Jacob, and Leah. The only matriarch that isn't buried here is Rachel. It is referred to as the Cave of the Patriarchs or the Sanctuary of Abraham as well. It is the oldest continuously used prayer structure in the world.

A theme in this portion that became clear for me was the idea of the small things become the big things. Sarah's death was the pivotal moment that spurred the purchase of the cave, the marriage of her son Isaac, and even how Abraham deals with his other children at the end of his life. Isaac become's the only true heir while Abraham's other children including Ishmael only receive gifts.

 Even in death, Sarah has influence, and she always had a great amount of influence over Abraham. But maybe that is the point. "Sarah's lifetime- the span of Sarah's life- came to one hundred and seventy-two years old." Why reiterate Sarah's life twice in this line? Sarah lives a complete and long life, and in this portion, we see that she lives on through her child and her influence of Abraham. I think that's one reason this portion is named "the life of Sarah." The life that continues on after she's gone is her legacy.

I have to be honest that I don't particularly care for Sarah. I don't like how she handled Hagar and Ishmael. I feel like a lot of her choices were selfish and self serving. Regardless of my personal feelings, I have to admit she was a pivotal figure. The lesson I am taking from this weeks portion is that we all can leave a legacy. We all do whether we realize it or not. What we need to ask ourselves is, what makes a successful life? What is success for us personally? How can we create a life we love, and one that will touch others after we are gone? What steps are we going to take to live our best and most complete life?

Idols and Destiny

Lech Lecha

This weeks Torah portion is Lech Lecha. Lech Lecha means to go, or more literally "you go." In the few verses before this portion we are introduced to Abraham. In this weeks reading we see Abraham heed the call of God to leave his native land and fathers house. God tells Abraham to go forth and he will bless him in ways he can not imagine. Abraham obeys taking his family and nephew Lot with him. They fight a war, He and Lot separate, and in frustration at lack of an heir Abraham's wife Sarah sends her servant Hagar to be a stand in. Hagar bears a son, Ishmael. God again promises blessings and a son through Sarah, and commands Abraham to circumcise himself and his people to signify the covenant between them.

In the biblical account we aren't told how Abraham stumbled into monotheism. Unlike Moses much later there is no burning bush. No "ah ha" God moment. Only a clear command that is heeded. Go forth..and I will bless you. Abraham obeys without hesitation with complete faith and trust. This points to an intense type of intimacy between the two. But where did it come from?

One of the most beautiful things about Judaism in my opinion is that we don't have just the written Torah, but also the oral Torah. It is taught that when Moses was receiving the Torah at Sinai he was given both. The written is important, but the oral Torah fills in gaps and answers questions that just aren't covered in the written words.

Abraham destroying idols.

From the oral Torah we learn that Abraham's father Terah was an idol maker, and sold them for a living. Abraham was considered a rational and intelligent boy who was unafraid to challange convention. He saw the idols for what they were. And, when left in charge of his fathers shop, he destroyed all but the largest idol. When Terah came back and demanded an explanation, Abraham said the remaining idol smashed all the others for their grain offerings. Terah accused Abraham of lying because the idol weren't alive, it wasn't possible for his story to be true. Abraham then asked his father, "Then why worship the lifeless work of your hands?" The Midrash teaches that Abraham didn't believe in the One God because he spoke to him or did anything to prove his existence to Abraham. Abraham discovered God for himself.

I like this story because it is a wonderful example of how listening to and honoring our own inner truth can and will completely change the trajectory of our lives. Abraham listened. He left his land, his fathers house, and ventured out living a nomadic life. We too can listen to our own inner voice. Call it God, Holy Spirit, the Universe, or the subconscious. It doesn't answer to a specific name. It is just that still small voice inside, guiding us to our destinies. Helping us make better choices. Showing us our gifts.

Like Abraham we too must destroy idols along the way. Usually they aren't actual sculptures of gods. They look more like wasting our lives in front of reality TV shows at the expense of connecting with our families. Working excessively to prove our worth. Being preoccupied with the "right appearance." Fear of change can be a crippling idol. We fall prey to the idols we create with our own hands just like Terah, and our own thoughts. We allow false beliefs to trick us into living a life that is less than what we deserve. Less than what we are called to.

Abraham had NO idea where he was going or what was going to happen to him once he left. He just knew that his God, the still small voice from within, told him to go. He walked away from the land he knew, destroying the idols of security and assurance. He left his fathers house, destroying the idol of tradition for the sake of tradition. He turned away from what he had, and turned towards something greater. His destiny.

What price are you paying for your security? What are you trading for the status quo? What idols do you see in your life that are keeping you from fulfilling your destiny? What idols are you willing to destroy today?

In the Beginning or Being a Better Person

This week the study of Torah starts all the way over and takes us back to Genesis or as it's known in Judaism as Bereshit. Starting this week I am planning on writing a "Shabbat Thought" about that weeks Parsha (portion) and posting it on Friday. I will be using the biblical text, however I will be painting my thoughts with a much broader brush stroke. The lessons are Universal. Even if you aren't religious I believe you can take something wonderful away from what I write, and I hope it gives you something to think about too.

Genesis. Creation of the world. The fall of man. All of this and more are covered in the first Torah portion Bereshit, which means "in the beginning." Almost every civilization contains a creation story, and ours has shaped large portions of history and the world. Today though I want to focus on one sentence.

Our scene opens in the garden. We find the man and woman hiding among the trees. They hear the sound of God moving. And then God calls out, "Where are you?"

Hold on. What? Are you going to tell me that an all knowing, all seeing God doesn't know where the man and woman are? I don't buy it. It makes no sense. There must be another meaning underneath. Another layer.

A commentary on this verse in the Stone Edition of the Tanach poses that God's question what meant to open a dialog with the hope that Adam would be repentant. A second commentary in Etz Hayim states God asks the question, "Where are you?," so that Adam might turn inward and ask himself, "Where am I in relation to God?" What God is really asking is, "Have you changed? Do you regret what you did?"

If we move forward in time to the story of Cain and Abel, in Genesis 4:9 we find God posing a very similar question to Cain. "Where is Abel your brother?" Again it appears that God is giving Cain the ability to seek repentance and come clean. And like his father before him, Cain takes a different path.

We all do things that are wrong and harmful to ourselves and others. There are many ways to handle our mistakes. We can step up and admit what we did, or we can make excuses, blame, or attempt to lie our way out of it. The choice is always ours.

The choice is always ours. In the story God is calling out, but today it's our conscious or our partner or our friend calling us to see our mistakes and make them right. We can ask ourselves, where am I? Where am I in relation to others? Did I make a mistakes? Do I regret what I did? How can I change? How can I make it right? What is my part in all of this? How can I be a better person?

Much like God gave Adam and Cain the opportunity to turn and admit their wrongs in both stories, we are given many opportunities to get it right. We can always try again.  All we have to do is make the choice. We can always begin again if we are willing. And that is the lesson here in Bereshit..."In the beginning..." again and again.

Random Jewish Thoughts on a Thursday

A few random final thoughts as Sukkot comes to a close.

1. The sukkah is an impermanent structure. Like our bodies. It is a reminder that from dust we came and to dust we shall return. Nothing is forever.

Wood Sukkah

2. The sukkah has one open side to create a feeling of hospitality, and we are to invite others in. We even symbolically invite the patriarchs in each night. So too we should welcome others into our hearts with love. We should welcome the teachings that inspire and help us grow as well.

3. The roof of the sukkah should be made of a material that lets the light of the stars in. We too should stop and let the light in.

Boho Sukkah

4. The sukkah is to be decorated inside. So too should we decorate our hearts and soul with things of beauty. Love, compassion, devotion, charity, and grace to name a few.

5. We are commanded to shake the lulav (a group of 4 different species of plants.) This leads to a dance of sort. This can create great joy in doing something that feels silly. We too should always remember to look for the joyful moments as we move through our lives. If you don't see them, make them!

Fancy Sukkah

And now that Sukkot is drawing to a close we are about to start a whole new adventure. We are about to roll the Torah scrolls all the way back. To start at the beginning once again with Genesis or Bereshit as it is known in Judaism. Another year, another cycle, of creating, growing, and enjoying our impermanent lives. May the light bless you and keep you another year.

The Big Suck

I joined a reading challenge on Goodreads, and my goal for the year is 100 books. I am at 80 as we speak and am on track to making my goal. I haven't read this voraciously in many years. I realize how much I missed it.

One of the books I read is "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" by Mark Manson. I will be the first to say this book is not at all what I was expecting. I was drawn in by the amazing storytelling of the author. His finer points were not lost on me either. It was thoroughly enjoyable. It was so good that I plan on actually buying a physical copy to keep and reread. (Support your local library guys!)

One of the things that Mark said that really stuck with me is, "It's ok for stuff to suck sometimes." It was really an ah-ha moment for me. We live in a society that tells us we need to be happy all the time. We need to do any and everything that we can to make sure we in no way suffer, are uncomfortable, or feel our unpleasant feelings. We hear messages all the time reinforcing these ideas. But it's a lie. Life is not perfect. We shouldn't strive for perfection. It's not obtainable. We only cause ourselves more discomfort and pain in the long run by clinging to this idea of perfection.

I have been guilty of this. I sometimes have a Pollyanna outlook. I can be too positive, always looking for the silver lining. And that's great! Except when I just need to sit with my feelings. When I need to accept life on life's terms. When I need to really see the reality of where I am.

I am getting better at letting stuff just suck sometimes. I am getting better at stepping back, assessing what is mine to take care of, and letting other people take care of their stuff. I am embracing the suck when it appears, thanking it, and letting go of the need for perfection. I am enjoying my life so much more this way.

Turning 39

A few days ago I turned 39.  I love getting older.  I know a lot of people do not share my enthusiasm for aging, but I am unapologetically thrilled each and every year I turn just a bit older. As the old saying goes, it sure beats the alternative. I’m still here!

I had been thinking about this milestone for a while. I wanted to create a theme for my 39^th year. Something to focus on, and something that would when all was said and done make me a better person all the way around.  I pondered a bit, and then it came to me as I was driving.  Year 39: Giving, Growing, and Going!

There are all kinds of giving.  I am better at some than others. For year 39 I want to work on giving more of my time to the things that I am passionate about.  I want to work on being more thoughtful, and doing things for others just because.  I want to work on really connecting with people by giving more of myself in each and every interaction. I want to stretch and stretch some more!

I love growing as a person.  I have realized that there are several areas where I feel I am a little stunted, and I want to focus on growing those areas specifically this year. One of the things I am doing is committing myself to read more this year than I have in the last 5 years combined!  I have a list of books in all kinds of genres, and I am reading or listening to the audiobook of 3 to 4 books a week.  It has been a wonderful experience so far.  I am also working on setting more goals this year, and creating plans to meet those goals.  I’ll share more on that as time passes.

In year 39 I want to travel more.  Last year I flew for the first time, going to Los Angeles twice. I also took a fabulous road trip with my beloved to Florida for my brother’s wedding.  I really want to step outside my comfort zone and do things I have never done before.  I want to go new places and meet new people.  I want to really get going! 

I want year 39 to be the best build up to 40 I could ever imagine. Do you create themes for your years?  If so how do you choose them, and what are they?  How do you feel about aging?  I’d love to know.