Random Jewish Thoughts on a Thursday

A few random final thoughts as Sukkot comes to a close.

1. The sukkah is an impermanent structure. Like our bodies. It is a reminder that from dust we came and to dust we shall return. Nothing is forever.

Wood Sukkah

2. The sukkah has one open side to create a feeling of hospitality, and we are to invite others in. We even symbolically invite the patriarchs in each night. So too we should welcome others into our hearts with love. We should welcome the teachings that inspire and help us grow as well.

3. The roof of the sukkah should be made of a material that lets the light of the stars in. We too should stop and let the light in.

Boho Sukkah

4. The sukkah is to be decorated inside. So too should we decorate our hearts and soul with things of beauty. Love, compassion, devotion, charity, and grace to name a few.

5. We are commanded to shake the lulav (a group of 4 different species of plants.) This leads to a dance of sort. This can create great joy in doing something that feels silly. We too should always remember to look for the joyful moments as we move through our lives. If you don't see them, make them!

Fancy Sukkah

And now that Sukkot is drawing to a close we are about to start a whole new adventure. We are about to roll the Torah scrolls all the way back. To start at the beginning once again with Genesis or Bereshit as it is known in Judaism. Another year, another cycle, of creating, growing, and enjoying our impermanent lives. May the light bless you and keep you another year.

The Big Suck

I joined a reading challenge on Goodreads, and my goal for the year is 100 books. I am at 80 as we speak and am on track to making my goal. I haven't read this voraciously in many years. I realize how much I missed it.

One of the books I read is "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" by Mark Manson. I will be the first to say this book is not at all what I was expecting. I was drawn in by the amazing storytelling of the author. His finer points were not lost on me either. It was thoroughly enjoyable. It was so good that I plan on actually buying a physical copy to keep and reread. (Support your local library guys!)

One of the things that Mark said that really stuck with me is, "It's ok for stuff to suck sometimes." It was really an ah-ha moment for me. We live in a society that tells us we need to be happy all the time. We need to do any and everything that we can to make sure we in no way suffer, are uncomfortable, or feel our unpleasant feelings. We hear messages all the time reinforcing these ideas. But it's a lie. Life is not perfect. We shouldn't strive for perfection. It's not obtainable. We only cause ourselves more discomfort and pain in the long run by clinging to this idea of perfection.

I have been guilty of this. I sometimes have a Pollyanna outlook. I can be too positive, always looking for the silver lining. And that's great! Except when I just need to sit with my feelings. When I need to accept life on life's terms. When I need to really see the reality of where I am.

I am getting better at letting stuff just suck sometimes. I am getting better at stepping back, assessing what is mine to take care of, and letting other people take care of their stuff. I am embracing the suck when it appears, thanking it, and letting go of the need for perfection. I am enjoying my life so much more this way.

Monday Motivation

What small thing can you do today to move you towards your greater goal?

Moving Outside Our Comfort Zone

Last week we affirmed, "I choose to do what is right, even if it isn't easy." Doing what is not easy can be as simple as stepping outside our comfort zones. That is where the magic happens! That is why out affirmation for this week is "All progress takes place outside our comfort zone."

I am going through a season of life that is really making me stretch outside of what I am used to. As a parent I have a child about to turn 18 and graduate. I now have 3 in high school. In the next four years I will face change after change. It is scary and amazing at the same time. This has caused my parenting style to change. My relationships with my children have begun to evolve. We are all becoming different people and growing.

I am learning so much about myself as my family transforms. I am rediscovering old passions. I am changing beliefs about myself, who I am, and what I am capable of. All of this progress is only possible because I have not only stepped outside my comfort zone, but because I have embraced it. I am excited about this new season.

It can be scary to make changes in our lives, especially when there is much at stake. To move forward we often need to take risks. Getting comfortable with risk can be life changing. What do you want to accomplish? Where do you see the need for progress in your life? What can you do to get outside your comfort zone to accomplish it?

I'm not REALLY Talking About Sukkot or Why You Are Me

It has been a week friends. A week of sadness, violence, and struggle. I'm not going to talk about any of those things though. I think enough people have already said all that needs to be said. I just wanted to share what's been bubbling around in my heart.

This week the Jewish holiday of Sukkot starts. It is the "Feast of Tabernacles." I am NOT going to write about Sukkot though. I AM going to share a wonderful idea from some of my study of the holiday, and a few more thoughts about life. 

 

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The sukkah is the little temporary hut Jewish families build for the holiday. And temporary it is. As a rule, it can not be a permanent structure. One side must be more open. The roof must be made of plant material but cannot block out the stars. If you are standing in the sukkah at night you must see stars. Traditionally you eat and sleep in it. I believe the sukkah is a throwback to the time of both Abraham and the Hebrews as they wandered through the desert. It is a reminder that life is fragile and impermanent. We are all wanders.

Rabbi Noa Kushner said, "The sukkah can help us remember this basic truth: we are all living under the same roof." I love this idea. It is a wonderful reminder that regardless of race, religion, or nationality we are all living under one big vast and beautiful sky. We are all one really.

Similarly, Yogi Bhajan the spiritual teacher who introduced Kundalini yoga to the western world said, "Recognize the other person is you." There are many meanings to this I believe, but the core for me is seeing that we are all the same, again we are all one. Just like you have hopes, dreams, fears, and desires so too do everyone else. They may not be the same, they may not have the same priorities, but other people are no less deserving of love, care, and respect. When we can see the humanity of the "other" person we have succeeded. 

Recognizing the other person is you can also be understood to mean that there is truly NO separation. We may be in sperate bodies, living "separate" lives, but in reality, we are all connected. We have all ended up on the same rock hurling through space, breathing the same air, feeling the same beams of the sun radiating down upon us. We are all a part of this enormous living breathing thing we know as the Universe. Whether you are spiritual or not, you can not deny there is an innerconnectedness to being. We are one. 

This brings me to the final quote I would like to share. Ram Dass is famously quoted as saying, "We are all just walking each other home." This is truly one of my favorite quotes of all time. It is beautifully heartbreaking. Regardless of the turmoils and stresses that surround us, we are simply moving through life together until the end. We are all walking each other home.

There is so much pain in the world around us. This is not new, and will not end. If we could stop and take a moment. If we could gaze up into the night's sky peppered with brilliant lights from far away. If we realized for even a brief moment how amazing this life, this world, truly is. If we could just see that we are all living under the same roof. That each and every person we meet is just us in different clothes. If we all could just turn to our family, friends, neighbors, and strangers and truly see them. Then we would see ourselves. We would be able to reach across whatever divides us and take someone else's hand. At the end of the day my friends, we are all just walking each other home. Let's do it with love. Let's do it with compassion. And then, maybe then, we will all find some peace.

Wisdom Wednesday

Choosing What Is Right

We faces hundreds of choices every day. Some are as benign as what socks we are going to wear or what coffee cup we are going to use. Some are a bit more difficult. How are we going to respond to that work email or what are we eating for lunch? Some choices are easy. Some choices are hard. Some choices are life changing. But whatever they are, choices are all around us.

All of that being said this weeks affirmation is, "I choose to do what is right, even if it isn't easy." I was drawn to this particular affirmation because it reinforces our ability to make the right decisions for ourselves, especially when it is difficult.

What is right? Here I believe what is right is what is in our best interest. There have been many times I knew a decision was right for me, but I struggled with the follow through of doing it. It made me completely uncomfortable either because it forced me out of my comfort zone, or because I had to set boundaries with others or myself that I wasn't ready to enforce. There have been plenty of times I took the easy path, and I regretted it dearly.

Right now I have a situation I am struggling to make the right decisions in. My instinct is to make the same choices I always do, but deep down I know I need to go in a different direction. So with grace I am taking it one day at a time, doing what I know is right for me, and making the better choice even when it isn't easy.

"I choose to do what is right, even if it isn't easy." Every day we can practice self-love by choosing what is right, knowing that any discomfort we may feel with eventually subside. Knowing we will be stronger in the end.