Forgiveness and the Growth of a Family

Joseph and His Brothers

This week I again have combined two portions, the last two portions, as we come to the end of
Genesis. We begin with Vayigash which translates as "and he drew near." As we enter the scene Judah is begging Joseph who is still disguised to release Benjamin and take him instead. As Judah pleads Joseph is overcome with emotion and can no longer continue keeping the truth from them. He admits who he is to his brother's shock. He instructs them to go back home, collect their families, herds,  and belongings, and to return to Egypt where Joseph will provide for and protect them. With the Pharoah's permission, Joseph settles his family in the area of Goshen, and he continues to manage the needs of the Egyptians as the famine is unwavering.

Israel Blessing Ephraim and Manasseh

Vayechi, meaning "and he lived," opens with Jacob nearing the end of his life. He makes Joseph swear he will take his body back to Cannan and bury him with his forefathers. He then blesses both of Joseph's sons Ephraim and Manessah stating they are now to be considered His own sons in tribute to his love for Rachel. As his time draws ever closer Jacob blesses all of his sons one by one. Once he reminds them of his burial instructions he finally draws his last breath. Pharoh gives Joseph permission to take his father back to the land of Cannan to bury him. Somewhat fearful that Joseph might turn on them, his brothers flung themselves before him requesting mercy. Joseph reassured his brothers He meant them no ill will, and in fact saw how everything worked out exactly as it was supposed to. Joseph and his family remained in Egypt, and he continued to care for them.

The opening of Vayigash and the ending of Veyechi finds Joseph's brothers pleading for his mercy. They seem unable to accept the idea that Joseph could possibly forgive them for selling him. In contrast, Joseph has shown nothing but love and forgiveness through both portions. Maybe the lesson here is people can live one of two ways. Fearful of the experiences life brings them to or accepting that everything will work out just as it should. Joseph says in Veyechi, "Have no fear! Am I a substitute for God?" He clearly has no ill will, or any need to seek vengeance. There is a saying I have seen a few times, "Trust the process." Joseph is the perfect example of trusting the process. He is at peace.

Another theme throughout not just these two portions but through the entire book of Genesis is the importance of growing the next generation. This is something that touched me as I myself have children quickly approaching adulthood. Each generation is blessed by the subsequent one, both by actual blessings and by the lessons they impart. Each generation has their own evolving relationship with God, the land, and other nations. Each generation has their own trials. And each generation seems to grow. Jacob "adopting" his grandchildren and bestowing part of his blessing on them really solidifies the desire to expand as a people. As we enter Exodus next week we see how that turns out.

Joseph, Destiny, and a Tiny Dancer

Joseph

I didn't write about the Torah portion last week, but that was purposeful. Last week and this week's readings include Joseph one of the sons of Jacob. I felt like what I had to write about his story was better said in one post.

The Torah portion from last week was Veyeshev, meaning "and he lived." It opens telling us that Jacob has settled in the land of Cannan. Joseph is 17 and the oldest son of Rachel, Jacob's favorite wife. Jacob so loves Joseph that he gives him a special coat. When his brothers see how much their father favors Jacob they hate him. Joseph also has vivid dreams of ruling over his brothers. Maybe he was nieve, but when he shared his dreams with his brothers they hated him even more.

Joseph's brothers hated him so much that one day while they are in the field watching the flocks, they saw Joseph coming from a distance and begin to plot against him. At first, they talk about killing him, but one of the brothers comes up with the idea of throwing him into a pit, and when traders passed they pulled him out and sold him as a slave. The traders take Joseph to Egypt and sell him off, while his brothers take his coat, cover it in blood, and return to Jacob to tell him Joseph is dead.

Joseph does well for himself in Egypt at first. He is a servant of Potiphar who is an associate of the pharaoh. He is trusted and given great responsibility in Potiphar's house. Potiphar's wife, however, had an eye for Joseph. Repeatedly she tries to get Joseph to have an affair with her. Repeatedly he denies her. One day she grabs Joseph, he is able to escape but leaves his garment behind. Potiphar's wife in anger that he continued to rebuff her claims Joseph attacked her, and Joseph is thrown in prison.

While in prison Joseph meets the cupbearer and the baker of the pharaoh. They had been confined for upsetting him. Joseph interprets dreams for both men. One was set to die, the other to be pardoned and returned to his place in the pharaoh's house. Joseph tells the cupbearer to remember him when he is pardoned.

Grains of Life

Joseph's story continues in Miketz, which translates as "at the end." It's been two years since the cupbearer left Joseph in prison. The pharaoh is having dreams that he can't understand. He is seeking someone to interpret them for him. It is at that moment the cupbearer remembers Joseph, and tells Pharoah about him. Joseph comes and hears the dreams. He interprets them to mean that there will be seven years of abundance of rain and grain, followed by seven years of drought and famine. Joseph tells Pharaoh he needs to store the excess grain during the first seven years, and appoint someone to manage the distribution of that grain during the famine. Pharoah was impressed by Joseph's understanding and believed he was filled with the spirit of God. Because of this Pharoah appoints Joseph over his court and he becomes second in command over all the land.





There is so much to unpack with the story of Joseph. He begins as a somewhat nieve boy. We have to ask, did he know that his dreams and interpretation of them would anger his brothers? Or was he showing off by boasting to them? He is the favored son after all. I think there was already enough animosity to go around. What was his motive? Did Joseph deserve the punishment his brother's concocted?

Joseph's story is one of roller coaster up and downs. The high of being the favored child, the low of being sold into slavery. The high of working for a high ranking official, the low of being sent to prison. Then the high of being rescued and placed in a place of power over Egypt.

From the beginning, Joseph knew his calling was big. Sharing it with his brothers may seem like a mistake, but it can't be. Without being sold into slavery Joseph wouldn't have ended up in Egypt. This seemingly horrible turn of events is a pinnacle moment. So too Joseph's imprisonment, without which he would have never met the cupbearer who told Pharoah about Joseph's gifts.

What can the story of Joseph teach us? I believe that most of us have a calling, a gift, or a mission in life. We can make choices that take us in a different direction, or be tossed around by the tempests of life, but one way or another we will arrive at the place or moment we are meant for. It can be so unbelievably small like a kind word at just the right moment, or extraordinarily large like running a country. Often times the things that seem to be detours are teaching us valuable lessons we need in order to be the best person we can be when we reach our pinnacle moments.

Much like Joseph, we can choose to see the negatives as working for our greatest good. Now I know that sounds trite, especially to people who have experienced great pain and loss. I in no way am trying to minimize your life experiences. I don't believe "everything happens for a reason." Things happen. Period. What I am saying is that I believe we can take those painful experiences and GIVE them the meaning we want. We are the writers of our story. Beginning to end.

Tiny Dancer Krista

What experiences have you had that you didn't realize until later were pinnacle moments? Lately, I feel like EVERY moment is a pinnacle moment for me. I have so much growth happening right now it can feel overwhelming.

I have been reflecting on my childhood, thinking about what made me who I am. This tiny dancer was so nervous to get on stage for the recital. Everything was going swimmingly. The music was great, she was hitting all her marks, and then a little two-year-old broke loose and ran around the stage. The audience exploded with laughter. Our tiny dancer was mortified, not yet understanding the social cues that the laughter was at the other child and not her. That one tiny moment set our little dancer up for a life of stage fright.

I still get extremely anxious getting in front of a room, even when it's people I know. So how do we rewrite that moment into something better? It is still something I am working on daily. I have set goals and push myself to get out of my comfort zone routinely. I am a work in progress. I glean hope from the story of Joseph. I remind myself that even when I am against what feels like overwhelming odds my story isn't over yet. I have a great distance still to go. But I am getting there. Write my story one day at a time.

The Things That Matter

I have company coming. It doesn't matter who is visiting, when I know someone is coming I see everything around me with a different eye. Where did those cobwebs come from? Has that stain always been on the couch? Is it too late to regrout the floor or paint the living room? The amount of anxiety I give myself up to the time of the actual visit is ridiculous.

I saw this quote from Gary Vaynerchuk today. "99% of the things around us don't matter." It gave me pause and allowed me to view what I was sweating over differently. Of course, I'm going to make sure my house is presentable. Of course, I will clean (a bit too much.) But I am refusing to tie myself in knots over it. It's not going to matter anyway! My visitor isn't going to be peaking behind my toilet or under my fridge looking for dust bunnies. All they are going to care about is seeing us. All they are going to care about is the love and laughs we are going to share. And, maybe a few bits of amazing food as well.

I know Gary wasn't talking about the state of my house. If you don't know Gary Vaynerchuk I recommend reading his books, or following him on Facebook, or both! He talks a lot about finding your passion and changing your life, in a no-nonsense way and often with colorful language. What Gary is trying to say here is to stop allowing all the bullshit and things that don't matter hold you back. Ignore the gossips at work. Don't worry about office politics. Don't follow someone else's dream. Do you! Do what turns you on. Do what makes you happy. Work your ass off. You will HAVE to work your ass off. But it's worth it.

What do you need to let go of to accomplish what you want? What is really important in your life? What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind?
I want to be happy. I want to connect with others on a deeper level. I don't want to fret over the little things that have no real impact on my life, both personally and professionally. This week I am going to do my best, relax, and enjoy the rest. I'm going to focus on the 1% that truly matters.

Birthright and Blessing

Isaac Giving Jacob His Blessing

The Torah portion for this week is Toldot. Translated it means "generations." Our reading starts out recounting the story of Issac. Which in honesty isn't the story of Isaac, but features his sons prominently. Toldot references both Abraham and Laban, which is possibly a foreshadowing that Laban will return to the story later. (Spoiler alert! He does.)

We learn that Rebekah struggles with infertility, but at last she conceives. There is a lot of struggle in her womb, she goes to pray, and Rebekah is given a prophecy. Two nations are in your womb God says. One will be greater than the other. The older will Serve the younger. Rebekah gives birth. Esau is born first, and when Jacob is born he is grasping Esau's heel.

Esau and Jacob

From the beginning, Esau and Jacob are polar opposites. Esau was a great hunter and a man of the outdoors. Because of his hunting skills, Issac favored him. Jacob was mild-mannered and preferred the quieter life of living within the camp. He was Rebekah's favorite. Esau is more impulsive and Jacob takes advantage of that fact by tricking Esau out of his birthright as well as his father's blessing with the help of his mother.

This moment of Esau giving away his birthright is where I find myself drawn in this week Torah portion. I believe it is closely connected to the end of the portion where Jacob also tricks their father into giving him a blessing, but the difference in Esau's reactions is what is the most interesting and telling part of all. Let's take a look at the initial interaction between Esau and Jacob.

The Birthright Exchange Moment

Jacob is making a stew. Esau returns to the camp and is drawn in by amazing smell of the food cooking. He tells Jacob to give him some stew because he is famished.

"Jacob said, 'First sell me your birthright.' And Esau said, 'I am at the point of death, so of what use is my birthright to me?' But Jacob said, 'Swear it to me first.' So he swore to him, and sold his birthright to Jacob. Jacob then gave Esau bread and lentil stew; he ate and drank, and he rose and went away. Thus did Esau spurn the birthright." Genesis 25:31-35

Esau being the oldest was due to inherit his fathers land and flocks, as well as enjoy other benefits afforded to him due to his status as the firstborn. Even though we don't know what age they are it seems clear that Esau is pretty immature. Either he doesn't realize the magnitude of what he is agreeing to or he simply doesn't care.

If we fast forward to the end of the portion we find Isaac towards the end of his life and desiring to give Esau a blessing. Jacob with the help of Rebekah tricks Issac by pretending to be Esau and receives the blessing instead. When Esau returns from hunting he learns from Isaac that this too has been stolen from him by Jacob. He begins to bitterly sob begging Issac for any blessing that he can provide. Esau finally realizes the magnitude of what he has lost.

Esau's predicament is something we all can relate to. I may not have traded my birthright for a good meal, but there are several times in my life I have misjudged the value of an exchange. I have given more than I received in relationships. I have undervalued what I have. I haven't taken into account the importance of decisions I made on my future. Much like Esau when there has been some time has passed it was easier to see what the true cost of some of my decisions has been. As I've gotten older I've learned to slow down when I make decisions and try and take all the consequences into account. Esau matured over time and hopefully we do too.

This is such a timely lesson in my life right now. I have a teenager on the verge of being an "adult." This has been a difficult season as we all try to adjust to our new dynamic and roles. Some of his behavior and his attitude remind me of young Esau. More focused on the immediate fulfillment of desire and less on the long game. As a parent, you teach them the best you can and try to shape them into productive and hopefully amazing human beings. At some point, you have to release your grip and allow them to make their own decisions, their own mistakes. All you can do is hope they make good choices.

Take some time to reflect. What lessons have you learned the hard way? How has your decision-making process changed over time? Are you a young Esau, or an older Esau?

Analysis Paralysis

I am super analytical with myself. I analyze everything from the way I write, to the things I say, to the way I behave in a group. I also analysis everything else in my life. My relationships, my career options, and what I want to do with my life. I scrutinize every tiny bit. It can be exhausting. I am getting a little better at cutting myself some slack, but over-analyzing is still my default.

Like Danielle LaPorte says, "Too much analysis can lead to paralysis." I am guilty of spending way too much time thinking about things and not enough time executing actions. I get so wrapped up in thinking about all the angles or possibilities in a situation I can freeze. I will start to feel overwhelmed and not know what to do. I am starting to realize making a mistake is far better than being stuck in place by our own fears. We can miss out on so much by allowing our fear to run the show.

This is one of the things I am working on. I am taking baby steps in getting out of my head and moving on the things I want. I am learning to move through my fears instead of allowing them to hold me at bay. It's a lot of work! Especially when you have spent so long camping inside your own head. It can be extremely scary to allow ourselves to be vulnerabe and take risks, but any step forward is success when it comes analysis paralysis.

What do you think? Are you guilty of this too? How do you get past your analysis paralysis? Let me know!

Sarah's Legacy

Sarah

After last weeks action packed Torah portion this week is almost a bit of a letdown. Chayei Sarah starts with the death of Sarah, and Abraham's negotiation for a burial site for her. Abraham then realizes it's time to get a wife for his son Issac,  and sends his trusted servant back to his homeland and fathers home to find one. His servant encounters Rebekah, convinces her family to send her to him, and he brings her back to Isaac. They marry. Abraham dies. The end of our portion is a list of Abraham's descendants.

Chayei Sarah translates as "the life of Sarah." This at first seemed ridiculous to me as the first thing that happens is Sarah's death. There really is nothing about her actual life in this portion. The first line is "Sarah's lifetime- the span of Sarah's life- came to one hundred and seventy-two years old. Sarah died..." So my first question is why is it named "the life of Sarah" when it clearly isn't about that at all.

The Cave of Machpelah

Abraham spends a good amount of time negotiating for Sarah's burial place. It's interesting how what seems like a simple request to honor the dead becomes such an important place. The cave of Machpelah not only becomes Sarah's resting place. She is later joined by Abraham, Issac, Rebekah, Jacob, and Leah. The only matriarch that isn't buried here is Rachel. It is referred to as the Cave of the Patriarchs or the Sanctuary of Abraham as well. It is the oldest continuously used prayer structure in the world.

A theme in this portion that became clear for me was the idea of the small things become the big things. Sarah's death was the pivotal moment that spurred the purchase of the cave, the marriage of her son Isaac, and even how Abraham deals with his other children at the end of his life. Isaac become's the only true heir while Abraham's other children including Ishmael only receive gifts.

 Even in death, Sarah has influence, and she always had a great amount of influence over Abraham. But maybe that is the point. "Sarah's lifetime- the span of Sarah's life- came to one hundred and seventy-two years old." Why reiterate Sarah's life twice in this line? Sarah lives a complete and long life, and in this portion, we see that she lives on through her child and her influence of Abraham. I think that's one reason this portion is named "the life of Sarah." The life that continues on after she's gone is her legacy.

I have to be honest that I don't particularly care for Sarah. I don't like how she handled Hagar and Ishmael. I feel like a lot of her choices were selfish and self serving. Regardless of my personal feelings, I have to admit she was a pivotal figure. The lesson I am taking from this weeks portion is that we all can leave a legacy. We all do whether we realize it or not. What we need to ask ourselves is, what makes a successful life? What is success for us personally? How can we create a life we love, and one that will touch others after we are gone? What steps are we going to take to live our best and most complete life?

Growing Pains

The last few weeks have felt like a slog. I had made several big jumps in growth and then bam! Nothing. Everything ground to a halt. I was frustrated. Then I took my own advice and was a little more gentle with myself. I backed off my self imposed expectations of the speed I should be moving, and that allowed me to step back and look at the situation.

I realized I was simply just in a different part of the growth spiral. Growth like everything else in life ebbs and flows. After there is action you need time to see what the results of that action are. You also need time to reflect. To give the outcome the meaning it has for you. I was, and still am in some ways, in the feedback and reflection parts of that particular growth I experienced a few weeks ago. When we can recognize where we are it makes it easier to be understanding with ourselves and the movement, or lack there of, we are seeing.

This week I am choosing to be kinder to myself as I figure out all the new moving parts in my life. I accept that this feeling of stagnation isn't really that, but time for me to fully integrate and understand what the changes in my life mean for me. I am trying to take a lesson from nature. Plants and trees know when to grow, and they know when to rest. The seasons can teach us so much about birth, growth, death, and renewal. We too are part of this amazing natural world even though we often have constructed lives that take us far from it. Lives that make us feel other. Part of my acceptance work this week will be getting out into nature and feeling Her energy. Feeling the rhythm of it all. I invite you to do the same beloveds. 

Embracing Our Unworthy Feelings to Get to Worth

We are starting a new month this week! I can't believe we are just 2 months away from a new year. Time is just flying. Because we are entering a new month I wanted to start a new theme with my weekly affirmations. This week we are affirming "I am worthy."

I want to share a personal story about this particular affirmation. I always considered myself as someone who felt worthy. I had no idea how unworthy I felt until the beginning of this year. Several years ago I read about and started a habit of using affirmation as passwords in order to reinforce them. (I HIGHLY recommend this practice.) It was January and time for me to change one of my passwords. I was at a loss. I couldn't think of anything I really wanted to work on. So I casually chose "I am worthy," because it seemed nice and benign. It was not.

I noticed after a few weeks of starting to use this affirmation password I started feeling oh so not worthy. I started to compare myself to others very harshly. I started feeling out of place at work, and not good enough. I was struggling in my relationships. I was horribly insecure. Across the board I felt as if my life was completely falling apart. I just didn't understand what was happening.

The 6 months of typing this affirmation several times a day were uncomfortable and difficult, but it was a clear wake up call to myself. I realized in that time that I wasn't as happy as I thought. I didn't believe it myself as much as I thought. I also realized I had settled in many ways for what I was given instead of living a life I dreamed of. It was a turning point for me. It was a blessing in disguise.

"I am worthy" is a great affirmation for change. There are so many people who don't feel worthy somewhere in their life. In using this affirmation we can flush out those things that make us feel unworthy. We can find things we didn't even know were there that are keeping us stuck in the status quo. "I am worthy" helps us to confront those places that are broken inside and shine a healing light on them.

As for myself, I have spent the better part of the last year working on healing the issues I found. I have made great progress. I feel more worthy than ever. It has been an interesting process, and I am happy to do it. I am worthy, and so are you beloved.

What feelings does this weeks affirmation stir in you? Where do you not feel worthy in your life? What changes are you being called to make in your life.

Be Here Now or My Judging Mind

I love mindfulness meditation. It is free of religions connotations so anyone can do it. You can do it
anywhere at anytime. There are multiple benefits such as reduced stress, lower blood pressure, and improved sleep just to name a few.

There is no pressure to force your mind to be silent. Only watching. Observing thoughts as they float through, and naming them. In mindfulness meditation when you find thoughts floating through your mind you simply say internally "thinking." Then let go and allow the thoughts to evaporate.

"I have to pay this bill or call this person or do this thing." There they are. Those pesky thoughts. I see you. I can just name you and let you leave. "Thinking." Why is this taking so long? Am I even doing this right? "Thinking." Why haven't I heard back from that job I applied for? "Thinking." Does anyone love me? Do I love me?? "Thinking."

I've been thinking (no pun intended) a lot about this concept all week. If this can work during meditation why can't it work as I wander through my day as well? Why can't I just name thoughts as they float through during my drive, or at work, or even when I'm on the phone with someone? Not out loud unless it's appropriate, but just call things out when necessary bringing me back to the present moment and too myself.

Confession time. I am extremely judgmental. It is painful to say that, because that's not the way I want to see myself at all. However if I am truly honest I judge just about everything. I judge myself for my weight, my looks, my awkwardness in communicating with other people. I judge how fast I read, how well I write, my punctuation and spelling, and my work. I judge how much I verbally participate in class. I judge my text message content. I am hypercritical of myself at almost all times. And I didn't even realize it until very recently when I started using this mindfulness technique all day long.

I am super judgmental when I drive. Not of myself, because I am perfect behind the wheel, but every other person on the road. No one can drive right in Houston. At least that's what my mind says incessantly as I go about my daily commute.

It was driving one morning when I got the idea to start applying the naming technique to my judging thoughts. I decided that every time I caught myself thinking a judgmental thought about another driver I would simply think the word "judging" and let the thought float away.

USE A F*#$*)N% BLINKER! "Judging." Why are you going so slow???? "Judging." This is not a two lane left turn jerk! "Judging." Stop texting and drive! "Judging."

After a few days of doing this practice I noticed something. I was becoming more aware of my judging thoughts. Not just while I was driving but all throughout the day. I started at work. I was judging someone else's actions and instinctively named the thought. I also noticed when I did this it became easier and easier to detach from the judging thoughts themselves. Which really is the whole point of this technique; to see that our thoughts are not really ours. To realize we are the observer, not the thinker.

Being able to draw myself back to the present and realize when I'm trying to trip down the rabbit hole of judgment has been of great benefit to me. I have been more aware of my own judgments. I have been acutely aware of how that distances me from others. How I have used judgment as a defense mechanism. How it has hurt my abilities to connect. Because I can now see it better, I can choose to make different decisions. I can be more present in the moment and  be honest with myself and others.

I love Ram Dass. I love his work. I love his book Be Here Now. This mindfulness meditation practice can get us out of our heads into the present moment. Here and now are really all we have. Be. Here. Now. No more judging. No more resistance. Be. Here. Now. Choose. Choose now. Over and over again. With each breath. Be. Here. Now.

Becoming Our Best Selves

This month we have chosen to do what is right even when it is hard, and realized that all progress takes place outside our comfort zone. This week we are affirming that "I am becoming the best version of myself."

Doing the hard stuff is helping us to grow into the best person we can be. Who is that? Only you know what the best version of you looks like. It is a daily climb that I truly believe never ends. Which is an amazingly fortunate thing!! Why you ask? Because if we are constantly trying to move forward, and we make mistakes, it's not the end of the road! We can always make a different choice. Mistakes are not to be feared. They are just a sign we need to make a course correction. It's that simple. Mistakes aren't to be feared, but to be respected. They should be "happy mistakes!" (Thank you Bob Ross.)

I know it is very easy to tell someone to embrace their happy mistakes and stop being afraid. If it were easy everyone would be doing it. Facing a situation where you can make a mistake can be scary. Every person has their own battle they are fighting, their own story we know nothing about. Some lives are harder than others. We never truly know someone else's life. But we do know our own. And we can start right where we are at in this moment to make different choices that will change our lives. Make the choices. Especially if they are scary ones to make.

How will you truly know if your decision is the right one if you never make it? Stop sitting on the sideline of your own life. Do it, what ever it is. DO IT! Put down the stories you tell yourself about how it's not going to work. You're not smart enough. You're not pretty enough. You're not successful enough. You're not enough. Because beloved you ARE enough. Just as you are, right now in this moment. You. Are. Enough.

I have allowed so many false truths I believed about myself to keep me frozen in place for years. I allowed fear to hold me back while I dreamt of more. I let fear lead the dance. It would be ridiculous to say I or anyone else can turn that around over night. I'm going to be honest if nothing else. It is a process. It can be long and hard if we continue to resist, and there will be moment we will. But it will get better with time, practice, and patience.

Every day we can rise up and make different choices. And so I do. I write. I write regardless of how it will be received. I write even when I think I sound ridiculous and holier than thou. I write even when I'm afraid of what others will think. I write because I feel compelled. I write because I feel it bubbling in my blood, and I always have. I was too afraid before. And I am afraid now. But I want to see what happens if I don't give up. I want to see how it turns out, mistakes and all.

I am committed to become the best version of myself. I can do this by accepting my fears, understanding my mistakes, and stepping out in faith that in the end I will end up right where I need to be. You can too beloved. You. Are. Enough.

In the Beginning or Being a Better Person

This week the study of Torah starts all the way over and takes us back to Genesis or as it's known in Judaism as Bereshit. Starting this week I am planning on writing a "Shabbat Thought" about that weeks Parsha (portion) and posting it on Friday. I will be using the biblical text, however I will be painting my thoughts with a much broader brush stroke. The lessons are Universal. Even if you aren't religious I believe you can take something wonderful away from what I write, and I hope it gives you something to think about too.

Genesis. Creation of the world. The fall of man. All of this and more are covered in the first Torah portion Bereshit, which means "in the beginning." Almost every civilization contains a creation story, and ours has shaped large portions of history and the world. Today though I want to focus on one sentence.

Our scene opens in the garden. We find the man and woman hiding among the trees. They hear the sound of God moving. And then God calls out, "Where are you?"

Hold on. What? Are you going to tell me that an all knowing, all seeing God doesn't know where the man and woman are? I don't buy it. It makes no sense. There must be another meaning underneath. Another layer.

A commentary on this verse in the Stone Edition of the Tanach poses that God's question what meant to open a dialog with the hope that Adam would be repentant. A second commentary in Etz Hayim states God asks the question, "Where are you?," so that Adam might turn inward and ask himself, "Where am I in relation to God?" What God is really asking is, "Have you changed? Do you regret what you did?"

If we move forward in time to the story of Cain and Abel, in Genesis 4:9 we find God posing a very similar question to Cain. "Where is Abel your brother?" Again it appears that God is giving Cain the ability to seek repentance and come clean. And like his father before him, Cain takes a different path.

We all do things that are wrong and harmful to ourselves and others. There are many ways to handle our mistakes. We can step up and admit what we did, or we can make excuses, blame, or attempt to lie our way out of it. The choice is always ours.

The choice is always ours. In the story God is calling out, but today it's our conscious or our partner or our friend calling us to see our mistakes and make them right. We can ask ourselves, where am I? Where am I in relation to others? Did I make a mistakes? Do I regret what I did? How can I change? How can I make it right? What is my part in all of this? How can I be a better person?

Much like God gave Adam and Cain the opportunity to turn and admit their wrongs in both stories, we are given many opportunities to get it right. We can always try again.  All we have to do is make the choice. We can always begin again if we are willing. And that is the lesson here in Bereshit..."In the beginning..." again and again.